I have beautiful, talented friends. I've just gotten back from Kitchener, where I watched the Tri-city improv tournament finals. I laughed, I cried (I did, but only once. Oh Brit!), and I seriously enjoyed watching the friendliest, most awesome competition ever. Improv is an awesome sport.
My school has an amazing team. They're creative, their funny, they're talented (Not to mention extremely good looking c; ) and they have so much heart. The whole time I watched the competition, I thought, "How could they not win?" They put themselves on the line, every time. And it paid off.
They won, but I don't know if they expected to. They were sitting so tightly together, wrapped up in a nervous hug. And when the other teams were awarded their places, they would jump up and cheer, only to return once again to their huddle. The whole time they were sitting holding hands, too. They're a family, they really are. When they were called up for first place, they were so excited and crazy, and in awe. They're going to Nationals!
And then, when they had been presented their medals, the other improv teams descended upon them to congratulate them and hug it out. That's why it's a beautiful sport. Everyone legitimately loves each other, even if they'd only met recently.
I'm jealous of the improv kids. There's no way in the world I resent them for their love and passion for what they do. I just wish I had that feeling of being so involved in something so tight like that. I'm friends with all of them, but I will always be on the outside of what they have. And that's all right. But I've realized, that what I really want out of life is that. That feeling of belonging, of love, and acceptance and comradeship.
I don't know. I just want something that meaningful in my life.
I'm completely bringing down this post with my obnoxious feelings. Allow me to do so some more.
I think I may have strong feelings of love and or attraction to someone. I'm not sure however, because I sometimes find it hard to figure out what I've fabricated and what I actually feel. I'm emotionally convoluted. And I don't want to risk my friendship with the guy if I'm not sure what I feel.
Dear readers, what do you do when you're in love? How can you tell? I just don't know how.
